New Day
by Bamie02
Summary: A night of partner bonding, tacos and personal revelations. But a new day is just around the corner. Set sometime after Three Hearts.
1. Chapter 1

_This is for RedneckGeek, who asked for the 'new' Kensi and 'step back' Deeks after Three Hearts. I hope you like it!_

_HUGE thanks to justareader07 who looked it over for me! Anything missed? Blame those on me._

_Disclaimer - NCIS LA and all known characters aren't mine. Just playing with them for a while._

* * *

"Hey."

Deeks sighed inwardly before leaning back in his chair and looking at his partner.

"Hey." He gave her a small smile, wondering what was going on. It had been a long day and he was tired. Not of her – never of her – but ever since the box, knife and raccoon incident, he was finding it harder and harder to keep his distance.

"So… I happen to have an extra ticket to a monster truck rally tonight." She wiggled her eyebrows at him, making him laugh.

"Okay." Deeks put his hands together behind his head, watching her.

"Are you always this dense?"

"What am I being dense about?" His face was pure innocence, but his eyes sparkled, making the butterflies in Kensi's stomach start fluttering.

"Deeks…"

"Kens…" Deeks tilted his head at her and Kensi immediately mirrored him.

"Do you want to go with me or not?" Kensi stared at him, wishing things were back to the way they used to be. Before Angelo, before Jack, before Afghanistan, before Sidorov. Back when things were complicated, but yet so simple.

"Don't get snippy with me, Sunshine. It's not like you asked me that question earlier. You were just making a statement then. How was I to know you wanted to go with yours truly?" He winked at her, standing up and grabbing his bag.

"So… is that a yes or a no, Counselor?" She watched as he grabbed his stuff and turned to face her. She could see in his face that he was going to accept the offer, and her heart skipped a beat. They had stopped hanging out as much after Angelo, both of the trying to respect the newfound line in the sand, but lately Kensi had been inching closer to it.

"Big trucks, beer, and you buying? Count me in." He walked next to her as they headed out and nudged her shoulder with his. Both of them were catapulted back to another time and place and they stopped. Deeks cleared his throat after a minute, still staring at her.

"Just uh, one request."

"Anything."

"No tacos, okay?" Kensi gave a small smile, understanding the meaning behind his words. Tonight was about them hanging out as partners and friends, nothing more. And while she understood where he was coming from, she was getting tired of waiting for her raccoon to open his damn eyes. But, instead of saying anything, she just nodded. She had a lot to make up for right now. Not only for the physical time she was away, but also for the years he had gone above and beyond for her.

"Okay."

"Okay then." And with that, they both left the mission, the night looming in front of them.

* * *

"Wow, I haven't had that much fun in forever." Kensi was all smiles as she turned towards her partner.

"Yeah, that was pretty fantastic. Thanks, Kens." He smiled at her, glad she had asked him to come. They had watched the trucks, had some beer, and Deeks had relished in the pure enjoyment on Kensi's face. He hadn't seen her that loose and carefree in so long, and it was contagious. By the end of the night, they were both loosened up and laughing at nothing, just enjoying the other's company.

"So. Dinner?" Kensi walked up to the car and got in. As Deeks closed the door, they both heard her stomach growl.

"Yes. Food. I'm starving. What are you thinking?" She turned the ignition and started maneuvering them out of the traffic.

"Head to my surfing spot. There's an all-night food truck down there that has awesome tacos."

Kensi immediately started snickering and Deeks just shook his head.

"Actual tacos, Kensalina. And they're good. So just drive."

"Hey, I didn't say anything."

"I know what you were thinking."

"You might be many things, Deeks, but certified mind reader is _not_ one of them."

"Well it's a good thing I am a man of many talents."

Kensi snorted before she muttered under her breath. Unintentionally, her mind flashed back to the night they had spent together. "Don't I know it."

Deeks raised his eyebrows at her.

"What are you saying over there?"

"Nothing. Uh… yeah, nothing." She blushed a little and saw Deeks smirk at her out of the corner of her eye.

"Nothing my ass. And it doesn't take a mind reader to know what you and I were _both_ thinking about."

Kensi took her eyes off the road a minute, looking at him. "Good to know." She winked and turned her attention back to driving, Deeks just shaking his head at her but unable to keep the smile off his face.

As she drove them to the beach, she knew that even though things had changed between them, their _thing_ was still alive and kicking. And while Deeks may have taken the step back, she could work around that. She knew she had some work to do, to show him that she was serious about this – that they could make it work – and now she understood what Deeks had gone through for years before this. But he hadn't given up, he had been patient. Now, it was her turn.

As she parked the car next to the food truck, she turned it off and turned towards him.

"Hey. Look, I know I suck at saying what I mean sometimes, so before we get out of this vehicle, I just uh… I want to say something."

Deeks had turned his head towards her when they pulled up, and he gave a small smile at her and nodded at her.

"_You_ are my raccoon."

Deeks looked at her, expecting more but when he was met with silence, he pursed his lips together for a minute.

"So ummm… wait, is that it? Because you kind of built that up a lot for it to be one sentence." He smirked at her, his heart pounding at her words but his face was nothing but calm. She would never understand how much that one simple sentence could turn his insides to mush. He had wanted some time to evaluate everything since Angelo and the revelations he had had about himself, and more specifically, exactly how far and what he would do for the most important person in his life. And Kensi had graciously accepted the silent terms, but she hadn't fully backed off. She had surprised him more than once with his favorite coffee in the morning or buying lunch. She had loosened up a lot since the beginning of their partnership, and was now making a more determined effort to be the one who made the jokes and innuendo's, which was quite a role change considering. But she was trying, and he knew he wasn't going to be able to last much longer.

"Shut up." She laughed before turning and getting out of the car. He followed suit and they walked to the food truck. The sea breeze was hitting them, and when the tacos were ordered, Deeks started walking down the beach, Kensi following.

"Where are we going?" Kensi was going to start eating her arm if he didn't stop soon.

"It's uh… well, you'll see. It's right up here." He instinctively grabbed her hand, and both of them stopped for a minute at the action. Seeing Kensi's smile, he just held on and kept going.

A few minutes later, he led her into a secluded alcove nestled behind some rocks. You could still hear the ocean and feel the breeze, but it offered seclusion and privacy. As he sat down next to Kensi, she immediately grabbed the bag and almost inhaled her first taco.

"I know one of these days I'm going to end up saving your life because you couldn't slow down and actually taste your food. I don't want to have to tell the kids about the time I saved their mother's life." The words slipped out and Deeks blushed.

Kensi immediately stopped chewing and looked at him. When she finally got the bite down, she tilted her head.

"So. Kids?" Her heart hammered in her chest, and she was surprised he couldn't hear it.

"Well, I mean, only if you want them." For two people who sucked at communication and considering the space he had put in between them, this conversation was a lot more natural than he thought it would be. He continued eating, the silence almost endless.

As Kensi ate her food, she thought on his words. Kids. He wanted kids. With her. The man who had handed back her dad's knife, and in the same breath told her he wasn't going anywhere. They hadn't been the same since that night, the partner bonding having lessened considerably. But she knew why, and she had given him his space but also gave him reminders she wasn't going anywhere. But how was she supposed to stay away when he said things like that?

When she finished up the tacos, she put her trash in the bag and looked over at him.

"Even numbers. We don't want one of the kids to feel left out." She smiled at him and his returned it.

"Whatever you say."

They still had a long way to go, but if this wasn't confirmation of their future, she didn't know what was. It would take a while, because nothing with them was ever simple, but she was determined to show him, and herself, that _this_ was worth it. That they could have the happily ever after.

They sat there for hours, talking about everything and nothing. When Kensi let out a yawned, Deeks took that as his cue they had probably been here long enough.

"Come on, Princess. Let's get you home." She just nodded at him, the fatigue hitting her full force. When they got to her car, she handed him the keys and he just raised his eyebrow at her.

"I'm tired." She closed the door and immediately closed her eyes. As Deeks started driving to her place, she mumbled something in her sleep.

"What was that, Kens?" He kept his voice quiet, not wanting to startle her.

"It's a love story."

Deeks almost hit the brakes at her words. But he knew she was right. Theirs was a love story. And it wouldn't be complete without some bumps in the road. He could see the light of day starting to break through, and just like them, the promise of a new beginning was enlightening.

As he pulled up to her house, Thapa's words echoed in his head. _There is only one way to cross the frozen lake… do not run. Walk slowly. Stop to look at everything. Take your time. She will wait for you._

They could make this work as long as they crossed that damn frozen lake together, slowly. If she was willing to keep trying, to keep going, he was too. Where she went, so did he. That's just how they roll.

Quietly, and with as little movement as possible, he got out of the car and headed to her side, gently picking her up and carrying her inside. Two years ago, she would have woken up immediately and landed a hefty punch to his arm for even thinking about doing that, but now, she just sighed and snuggled into his chest. As soon as he made it to her room, she woke up enough to change and climbed into bed. Deeks had planned on just crashing on her couch, but she opened her eyes and patted the spot next to her.

"Kens, it's not a good idea."

"Please? Nothing is going to happen except sleep, and well… it's been a while since I've slept more than a couple hours straight."

Deeks just nodded his head at her, understanding filling his eyes. It had taken a long time after his _experience_ to sleep any length of time, and he should have realized that she would be going through the same thing.

He grabbed the LAPD shirt on the dresser – _I always knew she had it_ – and walked in the bathroom. When he came out, he had his boxers and shirt on and climbed into bed with her. Kensi was already out, but when he laid down, she instinctively moved closer to him. He rolled to his side and watched as she slept, taking her hand as the light started creeping through the window. They could do this, take it day by day. He wasn't stupid, he knew there would be hard times ahead, and while the monster inside of him would never leave, he was starting to realize that Kensi was the reason the monster stayed away, not the reason it showed up. She showed him the good in the world – in_ him_ - when all they saw was the worst in humanity.

He knew he would do anything for her, killing included, but he also now firmly believed that she was one of the main factors in him keeping his sanity, reminding him that he didn't always have to put up the façade. He could be himself with her – the good, the bad and the ugly, and Lord knows she had seen all of that and more – and he realized that life without her was much worse than anything else; it was his own personal hell. And he had already been through hell and back more times than he could count.

As Kensi did her snort-snore thing, he smiled, finally closing his eyes and letting his body relax. As he felt sleep start to overtake him, he squeezed her hand, knowing she would be there when he opened his eyes and being grateful for that. For having the chance to start over, start new, just like the dawn each day. It didn't matter what happened yesterday, all that mattered was how you lived today. And he wasn't going to waste any more precious time without her.

* * *

_AN - Okay lovely readers, I will leave it up to you. One shot, or keep going. You tell me. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_HUGE thanks to my partner in crime (justareader07) for reading this over for me and letting me know it wasn't total crap. Hope y'all enjoy it! Any mistakes you find are mine. And we all know I don't own anything related to NCIS LA or the characters._

* * *

She felt strong arms circle her waist and smelled the unmistakable twang of the ocean. She sighed, leaning back into him. She could feel his lips touch her neck as he inhaled her scent and felt his chin rest on her shoulder. She looked out, the scene in front of her changing. It started out on a balcony overlooking the great Pacific, then a blanket of wildflowers, morphing into the woods with a river running nearby and then suddenly, in a blink of an eye, everything was gone. The safety she felt in her partner's arms was replaced with fear as she felt another set of hands, this time around her neck. Her heart started racing as she tried to find her bearings, the blindfold covering her eyes making it impossible. She tried to use her hands, her feet, anything to ward off the attack but she was bound. Thrashing around, trying to get away, she heard laughter and then shouts in a language she didn't know. The hands left her throat and she greedily started sucking in breath.

Before she could do anything else but breathe, she was thrust into yet another different scene. This time, she could see but she was tied to a chair. She recognized the cave she had been tortured in, but instead of Jack in the chair in front of her, it was Deeks. His face was bruised and battered, his head hanging down. She tried calling out to him, but he didn't answer. Her heart feared the worst, but her eyes focused on his chest, relief flooding her body as she it rise and fall. He was alive, but unconscious. She started moving around in her chair, trying to get loose when she heard voices getting closer.

She stopped moving and hung her head, acting like she was out as well. When her captors came in, they immediately walked over to her, slapping her on the face. Once they were sure she was awake, they walked over to Deeks, punching him in the stomach. He gasped, his face distorted in pain.

"No! Leave him alone! Deeks!" She started screaming, her body moving wildly in the chair as she tried to get loose, her eyes locked on his. One of the men brought out a knife, the glint in his eyes enough to make Kensi let out a blood curdling scream as she watched the man stab her partner, her best friend, the love of her life right in the stomach, twisting it and then leaving it in as the blood started pouring out.

"DEEKS!"

* * *

Deeks woke up to a scream. He bolted up - his hand immediately going for his gun on the nightstand that wasn't there - unsure where he was or who was making the noise. It took him all of two seconds to realize that he was in Kensi's bed, and that it was Kensi screaming. She was turned away from him so he moved closer to her and immediately started rubbing her arm, making soothing sounds as he tried to rouse her from her nightmare. He knew from past experience not to jolt her out of it, knowing it would only make it worse. Instead, he quietly started saying her name over and over as he laid down and brought his arms around her, holding her as close as he could as she fought against him. His heart broke as he heard her saying his name, the fear evident even in sleep.

He felt the tears on his arms and knew the moment she was starting to come back to him. Her whole body started shaking and instead of fighting him, her hands gripping his tightly. He held her, quietly whispering sweet nothings in her ear, letting her know he was here, he was okay, and more importantly, so was she.

Twenty minutes later, the sobs had slowed and the sounds of her quiet sniffles filled the room. Deeks never stopped running his hands up and down her arms, once in a while pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

Kensi finally calmed down enough to turn over, placing one of her palms against his cheek.

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Princess. Now, try to get some sleep. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

Kensi nodded her head at him before closing her eyes again, hoping against everything that the nightmare wouldn't return.

* * *

The sun was streaming through the windows when she woke up. Deeks' arms were around her, holding her close to him as they slept. She tried to move out of his arms but the instant she did his eyes popped open.

"Everything okay?" His eyes were full of concern as he looked at her.

"Um, yeah. Just… gotta use the restroom." He chuckled a little, loosening his hold on her and watched as she made her way to the bathroom. It had been an eventful sleep, but she hadn't woken up again and for that he was thankful. He got up, walked to the kitchen and started the coffee, knowing it was something they both needed. When Kensi walked in, he smiled at her.

"I'm going to go take a quick shower."

"Yeah, sure. Towels are in the cabinet and uh…"she looked down, noticing for the first time the shirt he was wearing. "Well, I see you found your shirt."

Deeks smirked at her, wanting to take her in his arms but knowing it wasn't time for that. Instead, he nodded at her, and headed for the bathroom.

Kensi sat outside in her chair, coffee mug in hand when she heard the water turn off. She was staring intently at the clouds, aware that Deeks was coming out to join her soon. He had seen her at her most vulnerable, and while at this point she was okay with that, the contents of her dream shook her.

Usually her nightmares consisted of her in the cave, the man in the chair was always Jack. But this time, the dream had changed. She had felt the safety in her partner's arms before being ripped from them and pulled back into the cave, this time Deeks being the one in the chair. She had felt the cold fear of the unknown and then, he had been stabbed in front of her.

She shivered involuntarily, shaking her head to clear her thoughts. She knew Deeks was going to want details. Once upon a time, that wouldn't have happened. Now, she wanted to open up and confide in him, but it also scared her. The reason he had stepped back was because he knew exactly how far he would go for her, and she was worried that her dream would only confirm his hesitance.

She was knocked back into reality as her partner sat down beside her, and she leaned back, propping her feet up. She could see Deeks eyeing her, bringing his cup to his lips and taking a sip.

"You're staring." Kensi took a sip of the coffee before lolling her head to the side, watching as he shrugged a shoulder.

"Just wondering how hard the mice are working. I can see the wheels spinning and it looks like they could take flight right now." Deeks leaned back in his chair, having given Kensi an opening to talk to him.

"What would you like to know?" If he wanted answers, she needed to know what the questions were, although if she were being honest with herself, she was evading the truth as much as possible. She knew exactly what he wanted to know.

Deeks shook his head. He should have known she'd come back with a question. Old habits were hard to break. He just rolled his head to the side, raising his eyebrows at her. Kensi sighed at his look, but didn't break the contact.

"It happens every night. I'm back in the cave, and Jack is in the chair in front of me, and I relive the fear – the torture – all over again."

"But the nightmare changed last night." He realized Kensi hadn't known she was screaming his name in terror that night. She just nodded at him and turned back towards the sky, watching the clouds float by.

"It uh… it started as several different scenes in front of me, the landscape always changing. But you had your arms wrapped around my waist and your chin on my shoulder and I just… I felt safe for the first time in a long time."

She stopped talking, taking deep breaths as the fear started creeping back. Deeks sat up, turning towards her and resting his elbows on his knees.

"All of a sudden, instead of your hands around my waist, someone else's hands were around my neck. I was in tied up in a chair, blindfolded. I couldn't breathe. They let go of my neck and I was gasping for air as the scene changed again. This time, the original nightmare was there. I was back in the cave, tied up. I looked up, expecting to see Jack again, but..."

A lone tear rolled down her cheek and Deeks wiped it away, bring her face to look at him.

"It was me, wasn't it?"

She nodded at him, and he pulled her up out of her chair and into his arms.

"I'm right here, Kensi. I'm safe, you're safe, right now the world is safe. Maybe not in the literal sense, but _our_world is safe. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm sure as hell not letting you go anywhere… not without me."

Kensi wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head on his shoulder.

"Isn't that the problem here?" She whispered the words, and Deeks immediately shook his head.

"No, I don't think it is. I think the problem was me coming to grips with my feelings for you. And instead of being here for you when you needed me, helping you deal with your demons, I was selfish and backed off. I'm sorry, Kensi." He buried his head in her neck and she squeezed him tighter.

They stayed like that for who knows how long. Time had stopped for them, and neither one of them wanted to move.

The sound of a car horn drew them out of their reverie, and Deeks reluctantly pulled back until he could put his forehead against Kensi's.

"I'm ah… I've got some things to deal with it. My head is a twisted mass of crazy on a good day, and it seems my good days have been few and far in between lately. And I don't want to promise you things I'm not able to give you right now. But I can't keep pushing you away."

"Deeks, I'm not asking for promises."

"I know. But you deserve someone to promise you they will always be there and never leave. And even if the past had never happened, Sidorov and Afghanistan and everything in between, I still wouldn't be able to make that promise to you. Because of our jobs… you never know. But –"he hurried to keep going when he saw Kensi open her mouth to speak," but, I want to get to the point where I can promise to never willingly leave, to help shoulder your burdens and fears, to deserve a place in your heart."

No one, in the history of her life, had ever said anything so profound and honest to her. Kensi was speechless for a minute, before pressing her lips to his cheek.

"You've already earned the place in my heart, Deeks. It's yours, and it's not going anywhere. You may not think you deserve it yet, but you have never done anything to _not_deserve it. In fact, quite the opposite."

All Deeks could do was stare at her. In the last twenty four hours, they had jumped hurdles, slain dragons, battled demons and it was almost like the treasure at the end of the rainbow could be theirs for the taking. But he was hesitant in moving for it just yet, waiting for the next round of obstacles to come hurling at them.

"Deeks. I'm not going anywhere. We have to do this right this time, because there is no other option. There won't be any more second chances. This-"she pointed at the space in between them," this is our only second chance. And I'm not going to waste it by jumping into the deep end again."

Deeks' lips curled up, smiling at her. She had taken some of the worry off of him, helping him shoulder his burdens. And now it was time to help shoulder some of hers.

"I'm not going anywhere either. You and me, Kens, that's the end game here. When you have nightmares, or wake up in a cold sweat and I'm not there, call me, text me, anything. I _want_to be there when you need me, Kens. Not just because it was by accident and I happened to find out this way."

Kensi looked down at her lap, her fingers playing with his shirt. She was vaguely surprised she was still in his lap, but who was she to argue. She sighed, needing him to know that his offer to be there probably wouldn't be a once in a while thing.

"It's every night, Deeks. And not just once and then I fall back asleep and everything is fine. It's usually a couple of hours after I fall asleep, every _time_I fall asleep. Usually I can handle them , it's just… this one went to a whole new level."

Kensi closed her eyes. "You died, Deeks. Or at least, you were going to. You were stabbed in the stomach, the man twisting it and leaving it there. And I was helpless to stop it." She could feel the fear and dread in the pit of her stomach again and she swallowed.

Deeks put his finger under her chin, drawing her eyes up to his. He could see the worry and despair, and he hated it.

"What can I do?"

She stared at him for what seemed like forever, the tension slowly leaving her body at the contact, his words calming the frantic beating of her heart. And she realized this was exactly what happened when she had woken up screaming.

"You know… I think you did it last night. Or this morning. Whenever it was. Anyway, this was the first time I've had a nightmare and not had another one when I went back to sleep. Maybe all I needed was you."

The simple truth, something that used to be so hard for her say, seemed to roll off of her tongue with ease now. She could see the almost awe look on his face when she answered, and she smiled at him.

"Wow. Well, okay then. Problem solved. When you have one, tell me. If talking on the phone doesn't work, I'll come over. We will figure this out, _that_I can promise you."

Deeks cupped her face, using his thumb to stroke her cheek.

"Now, in true essence of taking this slow, let's go get something to eat before we both throw slow out the window."

Kensi smiled at him, turning her head a little and kissing the palm of his hand before standing up. The path before them was long and winding, with who knows what was waiting in the shadows for them. As Deeks took her hand, showing her that even though it was going to take some time he wasn't leaving her, and she knew that whatever was thrown their way didn't stand a chance against the two of them. A whole new day was upon them, and with it came the absence of fear for the night. Because she knew this time, she wouldn't have to fight the battle alone.

* * *

_AN - a review letting me know what you thought would be immensely appreciated! Thank you guys for reading!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry this chapter took so long. It took me some to figure out what to do and how I wanted to go about this. Thank you to justareader07 for letting me bounce ideas and helping me figure out what I needed to do. Hope you all like it. :)_

_Disclaimer - NCIS LA and all characters you recognize are not mine._

* * *

Kensi was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling as she waited for her mind to wind down. It had been several weeks since Deeks had found out about her nightmares, and Kensi closed her eyes, thinking back at how things had gone since then. At work, nothing had changed. They still made inappropriate comments to each other, making anyone who happened to be around roll their eyes. But after work, that's where the real change happened. It wasn't unusual now to find Kensi at Deeks' apartment, or vice versa, enjoying take out and movies. Neither moved passed the talking and the occasional hug or hand holding, especially if the conversation was serious.

They were both respecting that fragile line, knowing any wrong move could destroy everything in a matter of seconds. But the communication between them was getting better, both of them opening up a bit more every time. Kensi was still having nightmares, and would call Deeks every night, the sound of his voice calming her nerves enough to let her drift back off the sleep, usually sleeping the rest of the night without incident.

At first she had felt a little guilty, waking him up in the middle of the night. Kensi thought back to the night she had woken up screaming... again. She had already called Deeks once, she didn't want to do it again. Instead, she had just laid there, staring at the clock. For three hours she did that, trying and failing to fall back asleep. Finally she gave up, shaking her head to clear the images that were still haunting her and pulled her running clothes on, hoping that the fresh air would help. When she returned home an hour later, her head still betraying her as the nightmare kept replaying, she got showered and dressed and headed into work, not knowing what else to do.

By the time Deeks had gotten to work that morning, Kensi had already been there for a couple of hours and she knew she looked ragged.

"Good morning, beautiful people." He put his stuff down and looked at the team, noticing the dark circles under his partner's eyes. Circles that he knew were caused by lack of sleep. Callen and Sam had each said good morning and went back to their bickering.

Deeks walked over and set Kensi's coffee on her desk.

"Why didn't you call me?" He whispered it in her ear, knowing she wouldn't want anyone else to hear it. He pulled back, the concern evident in his eyes. She had just shaken her head at him, looking away quickly.

Deeks narrowed his eyes a little, walking back to his desk and grabbed his phone, sending his partner a text. He could understand her not wanting to talk about it here at work, but he also wasn't going to let her off the hook. If they couldn't do the verbal communication right now, written would have to work.

_D: How long have you been awake?_

_K: Dunno._

Knowing he was still looking at his phone, he couldn't help but raise his eyebrow, wondering if she really thought he would buy that.

_D: Yes you do. _

_K: A while._

_D: and you didn't call because….._

_K: you need your sleep too, Deeks._

_D: that's not how this works princess. You know that._

_K: Deeks…_

_D: don't do this Kens._

Deeks could hear her sigh and he glanced at her. He had seen the transformation she had gone through, the way she practically glowed in the mornings now that she was getting more sleep, and every day he felt his heart beat a little faster, his chest puffing out a little more knowing he had helped with that – that he was the _cause _of that.

_D: Fern, I'm going to take it as a personal insult if you do this again. We agreed you would call me if you had a nightmare, and while I don't really see how this happened, apparently you think it's only good for one call a night._

He watched her shake her head at his message, a smile ghosting her lips.

_D: So, to be clear about this- that agreement is open ended. And because you are tired, I want to make sure you completely understand what that means. When you have a nightmare, YOU CALL ME! Once a week, once a night, three times in three hours. Does. Not. Matter._

He hit send and pretended to be working on a report, but kept watching Kensi out of the corner of his eye, waiting patiently for her reply.

_K: Fine. You win._

_D: I win? Taking screenshot…now. I need evidence that you said that, because no way in hell would anyone believe me. Maybe I'll buy a frame, put some confetti around it. Who knows how far my creative mind could go._

_K: you're ridiculous, you know that?_

_D: maybe. But you're smiling, so. : ) Mission accomplished._

Kensi rolled over in bed, remembering how she had thrown a ball of paper at him after that, but the smile had stayed on her face and there hadn't been another completely sleepless night. Kensi opened her eyes for a second, seeing her phone on the nightstand. She still called him almost every night, and a couple of times he had driven over if there was a second nightmare and stayed with her, but over time the nightmares seemed to be getting better, if only in the fact they weren't as gruesome. And she had no one to thank but her partner in crime for that. She sighed and let sleep take her.

* * *

Eric whistled, signaling the group that a new case was waiting for them. It had been a slow week, and everyone jumped up, ready to actually _do_ something other than paperwork. What no one had realized was that two people's nightmares would come to life during the light of day.

Once everyone took their normal places in OPS, Eric and Nell briefed them on the case. A drug cartel had murdered Lt. John Davis outside of a movie theater, and their job was to find out why – was he specifically targeted or an innocent bystander of a hit gone wrong?

Eric and Nell had scoured the digital aspect, going through the tapes to find a connection. Kensi and Deeks had gone to Camp Pendleton to get information from his C.O. and Callen and Sam had gone to talk to the family.

That afternoon, everyone met back up in OPS to go over new details. Nell had found large amounts of money being deposited into Lt. Davis' account, Eric had seen Lt. Davis and Jose Pablo, the head of the cartel, shaking hands a few hours before the murder. The dynamic duo had done their research and found that Pablo was the owner of a nightclub and it was being investigated by the LAPD for drug distribution.

Kensi groaned, leaning over and putting her head on the console, already knowing what was coming. Deeks chuckled a little at her semantics, but inwardly he was starting to get a bad feeling about this.

"So Kensi, it looks like you are going dancing tonight, huh?" Callen crossed his arms and smirked in her direction, waiting for her to lift her head. When she did, she scowled at him and Sam started laughing.

"Once, just once, I don't want to be the one paraded around in clothes that cover next to nothing, wearing shoes that could probably kill most women, while allowing the scum of the Earth to touch me. I want to hard pass on this. I bet Deeks could pull it off." She looked over at her partner who just raised his eyebrows at her before walking away, doing his best Top Model runway walk.

"Oh yeah, I've definitely got this. What do you say guys? Think I could do it?" He continued strutting around the room, causing Eric, Nell and Kensi to laugh while Callen and Sam just shook their heads.

"Mr. Deeks, while that is impressive, I'm not sure our target will have quite the same idea." Hetty eyed him, causing Deeks to blush and immediately stop, the look on his face making Sam chuckle.

"Ms. Blye, you are needed down in wardrobe. Mr. Hanna, you will be inside working as a bartender. Mr. Callen, Mr. Deeks, you two will be patrons of the bar." Everyone nodded and Hetty turned her eyes towards Kensi.

"Ms. Blye, if Jose Pablo sticks to the normal routine, he should not be in attendance tonight. However, his right hand man Luis Mendoza is almost always there. Your mission will be to get close to Mr. Mendoza, get as much info as you can about the business. It's common for ladies to go into the back for, well, other activities. If you have a chance to go back and look around, you are to take it. Don't compromise yourself though. Understood?"

Kensi nodded at her, and she felt Deeks' hand lightly touch her back for a split second before moving it, subtly telling her she wouldn't be alone. She felt her body immediately relax a little and could see the small smile on his face. Sam and Callen were busy talking to Hetty, Eric and Nell were setting up their aliases, so she turned towards him, his eyes clear and blue and staring intently at her.

"You good?" His words broke the silence between them, making Kensi blink.

"Uh. Yeah, I'm good. You good?" Kensi cringed at the words, but she wasn't sure what else to say.

"I will be." He winked at her and she smiled, making sure to brush up against him when she walked by. She heard him chuckle as she left OPS and made her way down to wardrobe, getting her mind in the game she was going to have to play tonight.

* * *

The nightclub was loud, dark, and swamped with people. She heard Deeks let out a low whistle through comms when she came in. As she passed him on the way to the bar, she made sure to add a little more sway to her hips, knowing he was watching her.

"Head in the game, Deeks." Callen's voice broke through, making Kensi smile just a little more.

"Oh, my head is definitely in it." He chuckled a little, continuing to watch Kensi walk towards the other end of the bar. Sam was behind the counter, taking drink orders as he and Callen looked around, pretending to check out the ladies walking by as they scanned the room for their target.

Ten minutes after Kensi had sat down at the end of the bar, she could feel her skin crawling. The latest of the wanna-be suitors who offered up cheesy pick-up lines and free drinks had had more hair on his arms than she did on her head. It had taken every ounce of professionalism to politely refuse the offered drink and dance, while the whole time trying not to outwardly gag.

"I could see the arm hair from over here, Kensalina. How you doing over there?" There was laughter in Deeks' voice and Kensi glared at him, about to retort when Sam's voice stopped her.

"Mendoza's here." Everyone snapped to attention, aware that the game was starting.

Kensi watched him as he put his arm around a blonde bimbo and lead her onto the dance floor. She was pretty sure their '_moves_' had less to do with dancing and more to do with foreplay, and she knew this would be a long night.

"Give it a few more minutes, then Kensi I think its time to go fishing." Callen looked at her, knowing she didn't want to, but would do what was asked of her.

"Hey Princess, how do you feel about some private lessons?" Deeks could practically feel the eye roll she was surely sending his way, but instead of egging it on, he changed topics, quietly talking about last night's basketball game. It was good that he and Callen were sitting fairly close to one another, knowing it would look funny if he was alone talking to himself.

Kensi sat on the stool, nursing her drink. She had rolled her eyes when Deeks asked about the private lessons, but hearing his quiet babble in her ear was actually comforting to her. She gave Mendoza a few minutes, making sure to keep her eye on them in case he decided to leave for the back room early.

Callen gave her the go ahead, and she slipped off her stool, gracefully making her way onto the dance floor, letting the music flow through her as she moved closer to their man. She listened to Callen and Deeks make bets on how far their target and the bimbo would go before being considered indecent exposure. When she got to her spot, she started swaying seductively, making sure she caught Mendoza's eyes when he looked up.

He took the bait hook, line, and sinker. Within minutes, he had left the blonde stuttering and confused to join Kensi. She did her part, turning on the charm, not killing him when his hands went to inappropriate places. She could feel the stare from her partner, and had to push back the disgust she felt at someone other than him putting their hands on her.

"Wow, did he just…" Deeks was watching as Mendoza's hands started roaming over Kensi's body. The disgust Kensi was feeling was matched by the anger flowing through Deeks. He knew he had to push it down, but with all the late night confessions and unsettled business between them, it was harder than normal. He had never liked watching his partner, _his _Kensi, getting groped by horrible men who didn't deserve a tenth of her attention, but lately, with everything swirling around them, the feeling was tenfold.

He took a breath, steeling his nerves and making sure his voice was still the cheeky Deeks Kensi needed right now.

"I don't know, Kens. He's got some pretty awesome moves there. I wonder if _he_ gives lessons." It was at the same time he made this comment that Mendoza tried saying something witty as well, and when Deeks heard her little snort laugh, a smile graced his face knowing it was for him, not the man currently dancing with her.

Kensi kept up her part, flirting with Mendoza and making him want more. An hour later, they all heard the words they had been waiting for.

"So, do you want a private tour of the back? There's some pretty _cozy _rooms back there…" he let the sentence trail off, the implications clear in his eyes. Kensi batted her eyes at him and nodded her head, letting him take her hand as he helped her out of her chair.

"Kensi, you know the word. Say it, and I'll be back there asap, okay?" Deeks watched as she walked away from him, seeing the small nod of her head as confirmation she had heard him.

As Kensi was being led to the back, Sam glanced over and saw someone who wasn't supposed to be here.

"Head's up everyone. Jose Pablo just came in." Deeks kept his eyes on Kensi until she was out of sight and then turned to Callen, pretending to ask him a question while watching Jose.

"He just passed something to the guy in the green shirt." Deeks took a sip of his beer as he watched Jose talk for a minute and then leave again.

"Hey, John, I'm going on break." Notifying the other bartender, Sam threw his towel down and Callen looked over at Deeks.

"We're going to follow Jose, you stay here and back up Kensi if she needs it." Deeks nodded at him, realizing he hadn't heard anything from his partner lately. He decided to give her a few minutes before saying anything. He watched as Sam and Callen left the building, following Jose outside.

Deeks looked at his watch, silently counting down the minutes until he tried reaching Kensi. He heard some moaning in his ear followed by a scuffling sound. And then, as if on cue, he heard talking.

"Hey there, Max. Did you miss me?" His head shot up and he looked around. It wasn't Kensi's voice talking through comms, it was Monica.

* * *

_AN - The next chapter is almost done, so don't worry, there won't be such a gap in time before I post it. Hope you all liked this chapter...enough to leave a review on your way out? :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_Here's the second part. INCREDIBLY HUGE thanks to justareader07. There aren't enough words my friend. All mistakes you may find are mine. And in no way do I own the characters (except the ones I made up)._

* * *

Kensi followed Mendoza to the back. She heard Sam say that Jose Pablo had shown up and she started getting a bad feeling in her stomach. Mendoza led her to the last room and as soon as Kensi entered, she felt hands wrap around her neck and another set of hands quickly pull her arms behind her. She didn't have time to fight back and she was silently cursing herself for letting down her guard, as she felt her hands being tied together. She was just about to yell for Deeks when she felt a gag being placed over her mouth. When She looked up, she saw someone she never thought she would ever see again.

"Well well, Kensi. We meet again." Monica whispered the words, knowing the female agent had an earwig in and she wasn't quite ready to give herself away.

Kensi was pushed to the ground, and felt a kick to her ribs. Kensi groaned, and watched as Monica walked up to her, pulling her close and leaning in to talk in her ear.

"Hey there, Max. Did you miss me?"

Kensi heard the sharp intake of breath as he realized who it was.

"Kensi, I'm coming." Kensi closed her eyes for a second, his words comforting her. And then the comforting feeling left and panic set in. She started making noises, trying to tell him to stay where he was, but the more noises she made the more frantic Deeks' voice became as he tried to figure out what room she was in, telling her he was on his way and relaying to Callen and Sam what was going on.

She realized, at that moment, they had walked into a trap. Callen and Sam were both outside in the alley, currently in a shootout with Jose Pablo's guys, leaving Kensi and Deeks alone inside.

Before she could get any farther with her thoughts, the door burst open and Deeks stood there, gun drawn, the light from the hallway behind him giving him a halo. _My own guardian angel._

Monica was already behind her, gun pointed to Kensi's head when Deeks walked through the door. Deeks had his gun trained on Monica, but his eyes were sweeping the room to find other targets as well. He counted two other men, both armed with their guns pointed at him.

"Well Max, it seems we meet again." Monica gave him a sinister smile, but he kept glancing at Kensi.

"What do you want, Monica?"

"First things first, Max. Put the gun down. We should have a civil chat, don't you think?" Deeks just shook his head at her.

"Not putting the gun down until you let Kensi go. It's me you want, right? Well, here I am." Kensi was shaking her head at him. She wasn't going to leave him, no matter what he said.

"Yes, it's you I really want. But I think I'll hang on to this one a little while longer. Just to make sure you cooperate."

Deeks watched her, hating the gun that was pressed against Kensi's temple. But he was outnumbered right now, and he knew he couldn't take out the other two men without Monica shooting Kensi. And right now, he wasn't willing to gamble with her life. His mind flashed to the last time Kensi had had a gun drawn on her, the night after everything had forever changed between them. He hadn't taken the shot then, not wanting to risk her safety. He gripped his gun tighter. This time, he wouldn't hesitate if the opportunity presented itself.

Kensi could see the war in his eyes over what to do. The look of regret there for an instant, quickly changing to determination. He put the gun down, locking eyes with Kensi as he did it. As soon as the gun was on the floor, he was overpowered by the two men, who quickly set him in a chair and tied him up. He didn't put up a fight, knowing he wouldn't win it if he tried. His eyes never left Kensi, and he saw the fear building inside them. Here he was, tied up in a chair - her nightmare coming to reality. He tried conveying to her with his eyes that they would get out this, both of them, and everything would be okay. She must have understood, because she took a deep breath and calmed her features.

Deeks tilted his head and looked at Monica.

"What do you want, Monica?" His eyes had taken on a hard edge, and it almost made Monica rethink her idea. _Almost._ But then again, this was what she had missed, the Max who loved danger and had a cockiness about him that sent a thrill through her. She smiled at him, the gun never wavering.

"Why Maxey, I want you. Don't you remember the last time I saw you, the words I whispered into your ear?" She saw the flicker of remembrance hit him and she licked her lips.

"What did I whisper to you, Max? I know your little girlfriend here is dying to know." Rather than look at Kensi, Deeks kept his eyes on Monica, not answering her question. Monica could see the rebellion in his eyes, and nodded to one of the men standing near him. The bigger guy walked in front of him, punching him in the gut. Because Deeks was tied up, there wasn't a lot of recoil and protection he could do for himself, so he fell back on his humor.

"Wow that's it? You know, Kensi hits me harder than that on a daily basis." He was hoping to keep their anger directed at him so they would leave Kensi alone. This time, the man's punch landed on his jaw and he heard Kensi try to cry out, the gag in her mouth muffling the sound.

"Okay, you know what? I'll give you that. That one stung a little. But why do you people always go for the face, huh? I know you're jealous because I'm prettier than you, but come on." He opened and closed his mouth, working his jaw and looked over at Kensi. Her eyes were telling him she was scared, she didn't want him to get hurt, but there was something else, too. A murderous rage. And at that moment, Deeks knew they would be okay. Angry Kensi was on his side, and they would figure this out. They always did.

Monica could see the silent conversation happening between the two, and she felt cold fury flow through her veins. She moved positions, putting herself in front of Kensi, trying to make Deeks look at her instead of his partner. Instead, Deeks just turned his head, staring at the wall. He could still hear gunfire in his ear, Sam and Callen trying to take care of the bad guys outside so they could come help them. He was fairly surprised Monica and her goons hadn't taken the ear pieces out yet, knowing they still had communication with the other two members of the team. But he wasn't going to question it, or remind her if she had forgotten about that.

"Max, look at me." Monica's voice was hard, and Deeks slowly lifted his eyes to hers, letting the anger show.

"My name is _not _Max."

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong." Monica took the few steps toward him, kneeling down to look him in the eyes. "You and I both know you are a lot more like Max Gentry than Marty Deeks. You enjoy the thrill of being the bad guy, doing whatever you want and getting away with it. The respect that your name brings, the power it holds. You can let out all of the pent up anger inside you without feeling guilty about it." She could see her words cutting through to him, the anger in his eyes slowly fading. She put her hand on his leg, making sure his focus stayed on her.

"You know, I think every one of your super secret agent friends underestimated me. Even you did, Max. But that's what I wanted." She turned around, facing Kensi this time.

"You want to know what I whispered in his ear that day?" Kensi just stared at her, not answering her. Monica walked up to her, backhanding her across the face. "I told him you would never understand him the way I do."

"Well, Monica, that's where you're wrong. She understands me in a way you never will. And if you touch her again, you will pay." Deeks looked at Kensi, seeing the mark on her face. She had a defiant look about her, and he smiled. Even tied up and bruised, she was beautiful.

"Protective of her, huh? You know, I've witnessed first hand her moves and I'm sure she can take care of herself. Although, this time, I bested _her_ instead of the other way around."

Deeks furrowed his eyebrows, the pieces suddenly starting to click together. He could see Kensi giving him a look, one that he was very familiar with. _Buy me some time. _She had a plan, and even though she was gagged, they had never had problems talking with their eyes. If she needed time, time he would get for her.

"So tell me, Monica, this was all a set up, wasn't it? You knew if you could somehow get the Navy involved, we wouldn't be far behind. But if you are smart enough to get this far, which I have to say your plan is working out beautifully, you have to know backup is on it's way and you are just wasting what little precious time you have left." Monica's eyes lit up at his statement, glad that he was starting to get the picture.

"Well Max, in about two minutes, phase two of the plan will go into effect." Deeks raised his eyebrows at her, wondering if he could get more info out of her.

"Please, do tell. I'm sure it involves killing her and taking me with you. And seeing as we are both tied up, we don't really have a say in it, do we?" As he said it, he heard a little chirp and Monica walked over to the table, checking her phone and her smile grew a little.

"Jose has already taken care of your two friends outside, and is currently getting our getaway car." Deeks pursed his lips together, nodding his head at her.

"Sounds like a well thought out plan. But I'm a little confused here, how did you hook up with Jose? And why would he be so willing to go along with your plan?"

He could see Kensi give the slightest of nods out of the corner of his eye, but he kept his gaze on Monica, not wanting to draw attention to Kensi. He cleared his throat, giving her their sign that he got the message.

"Come on now, Max. You didn't really think I would let all of those diamonds go, did you?" Deeks licked his lips and tilted his head at her.

"A smart girl like you just couldn't do the right thing, would she?" This earned him another punch the stomach, and he heard Kensi almost growl at the man who hit him. He discretely winked at her, letting her know he was okay.

"A smart girl would do exactly what I did. Stash a few away for a rainy day. So that's what I did. Came to the club one night, looking for a good time, met Jose. Who knew he would have an affinity for diamonds?" She smiled at Deeks, walking over to him now and sat in his lap, putting her arms around his neck. Kensi narrowed her eyes at the scene unfolding in front of her. Monica would get what was coming to her, if for no other reason than getting too friendly with _her_ partner.

"And it turns out, he and I make excellent business associates. There's nothing romantic there, you don't have to worry about that, Max, but we both had grievances to settle with NCIS. Did you know you guys killed his cousin about a year ago? Well, he's been looking for retribution ever since. And, we know what I was looking for. So, here we are!" She almost squealed at the end, and leaned over, kissing his cheek. He could see Kensi giving him the signal that she was almost ready to carry out her plan, and judging by her gaze Monica was the first person she was going after.

Monica pulled back and looked at Deeks, turning his face so he was looking at her instead of Kensi.

"She can't help you, Max. I can. You and I can walk out of here and leave all of this behind. Where was it that you wanted to go? Montenegro? We can do that, baby. We can run away and just be together." She was stroking his cheek, and Deeks just stared at her, shaking his head.

"No, Monica, we can't do that. I am not Max. I am Marty Deeks, Detective with the LAPD, partner to one Bad-Ass Kensi Blye with NCIS. Max Gentry... that's not who I am. That's an alias I made up. And I'm sorry I hurt you like I did, but I'm not leaving with you."

Monica was fuming, but didn't let it show. Instead, she climbed off of Deeks' lap and walked over to Kensi, punching her in the face.

"It's a little different when you can't fight back, huh?" Monica snarled at Kensi before hitting her again. Deeks was seeing red now, the sight of blood on his partner's face as it poured down, dripping off of her chin. Just as he was about to start yelling, he could hear Callen in his ear. He knew Kensi heard the same thing, because her body posture changed minutely, not enough for anyone else to notice, only him.

"Jose's dead, Deeks. We're coming in."

Kensi gave Deeks the nod, letting him know it was time. As Monica raised her fist again to punch Kensi, Kensi raised her arm to block it, much to the shock of Monica.

"What the hell?" Monica screamed at her while Kensi stood, suddenly being the attacker instead of the attackee.

"Maybe you should teach your boys how to tie a girl up." Kensi advanced on her and Monica did her best to block the well aimed kicks and punches, but Kensi had the element of surprise on her side and was using it to her advantage.

When Kensi had raised her arm, Deeks had stood up in the chair as much as he could, angling to the side towards the big man who had kept hitting him and propelled himself towards him, knocking him to the ground, the chair breaking. Deeks' hands were still tied behind his back, but he could now stand tall and move around better. He saw the big man roll and draw his gun, and Deeks slammed into him again, headbutting him this time before rolling and kicking the gun out of his hand. The gun slid over next to Kensi, and Deeks saw Monica starting to get the upper hand in their fight. Before he could lend a hand to his partner, there was still Mendoza to take care of.

Deeks whipped his head around, trying to find him when he felt the barrel of a gun against his side. Deeks stopped moving and looked over just in time to see Monica land a punch to Kensi's face, knocking her out. Kensi fell to the floor, her head making a loud whacking sound as it hit.

"KENSI!" Deeks yelled her name, needing her to wake up. As soon as he yelled her name, he heard Sam in his ear talking.

"Hold on, Deeks. Almost there. These people have more locks on the doors and bad guys waiting for us. If you can, tell us what happened." He could hear a few more shots followed by silence and then Callen's voice. "They are persistent, I'll give 'em that."

"Alright Monica. Now that you've knocked Kensi out cold and I've got a guy holding a gun to me, what's your plan now? Because I'm pretty sure Jose would have been here by now to give you the sign that it's time to leave, and that hasn't happened." He had said enough to let Callen and Sam know their status and he heard their acknowledgement.

"Always have a back up plan, Max. You taught me that." Feeling confident that Kensi was still out, Monica walked up to her and pulled her leg back, landing a kick to her ribs. Deeks yelled, hearing the crack of ribs.

"Monica, stop it!" His voice cut through, and Monica turned.

"You care about her?" Her eyes were hard and she leaned down, picking up the discarded gun, pointing it at him.

"She's my partner, of course I care about her." He tried keeping his voice neutral, but his eyes kept flicking towards the groaning woman on the floor.

"Ah, but I think there's much more to this story, isn't there? She's your weakness. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you two were in love." She narrowed her eyes at him, watching him.

"Well?" She tilted her head at him, waiting for his answer. When he continued to look at Kensi, she punched him. "TELL ME!"

Deeks groaned, hearing Callen and Sam say they were about to enter the room. As he straightened up, Monica had made her way back to Kensi, pulling her leg back again to kick her. This time, right before her foot made contact, Kensi rolled over, knocking Monica onto the floor. Monica twisted around just as Callen and Sam entered the room, all of them now facing Monica who was holding Kensi, again, at gunpoint.

It was quite the stand off. Sam had his gun trained on Monica, Callen's pointed at Mendoza. Mendoza was starting to sweat, knowing this wasn't going to end well. His eyes darted between Monica and Callen, not knowing what to do. Suddenly, in a rare show of defeat, he put the gun down, letting Deeks go. Callen moved forward quickly, untying Deeks' hands and moving towards Mendoza. Deeks picked up his Beretta, pointing it at Monica.

"Let her go, Monica." His voice was hard and Monica moved behind Kensi a little more, trying to get out of the line of sight. "It's over, Monica. Let her go."

"You won't shoot me, Max." She smiled at him as she raised her eyebrows, daring him.

"I'm not telling you again, Monica. My name is Marty Deeks. Now, put the gun down." He quickly calculated the distance between Kensi and Monica, knowing if he pulled the trigger it was going to be close. Based on their location, he could tell Sam and Callen didn't have a shot, and if this went down, Deeks was going to have to be deadly accurate. He took a breath, looking at Kensi.

"Do it." Her voice was steady, her eyes telling him she trusted him.

"Monica, last chance. Put it down and we walk out of here. Continue, and you won't be." He put his finger on the trigger, seeing the change in her stance.

"Oh, Max." She moved her finger to shoot Kensi and Deeks took the shot, hitting her in the forehead inches from Kensi's body. Monica stood there, disbelief registering on her face, before falling to the ground, taking Kensi with her.

Deeks rushed over, putting the gun down, knowing Sam and Callen would take care of everything else right now. He fell to his knees, pulling Kensi close to him, rocking her gently while she held onto him. He pulled back for a minute, looking her over.

"Are you okay? I mean, I know you aren't okay, but…"

"Deeks, I'm okay. As okay as I can be right now, anyway." She sat up a little more, taking some pressure off her surely broken ribs, but Deeks wasn't ready to let go of her yet. He stood up, helping her to her feet before bringing her back into his arms. She didn't complain, leaning against him and loosely wrapping her arms around his middle.

Callen was in the process of securing Mendoza and Sam was kneeling down next to Monica checking for a pulse. Kensi glanced over at the big man Deeks had taken out first. In the blink of an eye, she saw his eyes open and pull a gun, aiming it at Deeks.

Kensi reacted, pushing Deeks to the floor just as he fired, missing them. Callen and Sam were both pulling their guns to fire back but Kensi beat them to it. In an instant, she had grabbed Deeks' Berretta and pulled the trigger before anyone else, him included, could get a shot off.

Deeks looked around, making sure no one else was going to pull any surprises on them. When he saw the LAPD coming through the door, he laid his head back down on the floor, his heart hammering in his chest. Kensi laid there next to him, rolling her head to the side and looking at him. He had a cut over his eye and a bruise on his cheek, but his eyes were sparkling at her.

"You look like crap, Kensalina." She snorted, grabbing her ribs and sucking in air.

"You don't look so good yourself there, Deeks." His hand found hers, linking their fingers together. He took in her injuries, multiple cuts and bruises on her face, the finger marks starting to show on her neck.

"I'm okay, Deeks." Instead of answering her, he brought her hand up to his mouth, kissing it before laying it over his chest.

"You're not, neither one of us are right now, but we will be." He repeated the words he had said earlier to her, never imagining their night would have ended up like this.

After a minute of laying there looking at each other, they both turned at the same time, helping each other up off the floor. Their hands stayed together as they made their way outside. EMS was there waiting, and both of them signed a refusal to treat paper. Deeks had put up a fight when Kensi was signing hers, her ribs needing medical attention. Kensi had scoffed at him, telling him she had had worse than this.

Callen and Sam walked out and straight for them.

"So, Monica huh?" Deeks shuddered at Sam's words.

"Yeah, Monica."

"Any other crazies we need to know about that might be coming out of the woodwork?" Callen had a smirk on his face as Deeks shook his head, smiling a little.

"Well, with my amazing track record, there's always the chance someone else is desperate to be with me and coming up with elaborate plans to do just that, because really guys, this-"he pointed to his body, 'this is irresistable."

"Think again, Casanova." Kensi was shaking her head at him while Sam and Callen groaned.

"What?" He lifted his shoulders up, looking at the group, the people he considered family.

"I don't think _irresistible_ is the word I'd use there. Anyway, you two, take the next few days off. Heal up. Reports can wait a few days." Callen glanced between the two partners, noticing how close they were sitting to each other. He hoped whatever limbo they were in right now, personally, would work itself out soon. They needed each other, and everyone in OSP could see how much stronger they were together. They had had a rough start, and just as they had started figuring out their infamous _thing_ Kensi had been reassigned to Afghanistan. Since she had been back, he could see the change in them, and frankly, he was getting tired of the back and forth. '_I should just lock them in a closet.'_

Sam could see his partner's mind working as he looked at Kensi and Deeks. He knew what he was thinking - that they should hurry up and figure it out. His mind flashed to Michelle, remember the trials and tribulations they had gone through before making their relationship work. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't something that happened overnight, but the roller coaster they had taken to get to where they were now - happily married, a family - well, it was worth it.

Sam walked over, putting his hand on Deeks' shoulder.

"You guys take care of each other. You two did good in there." Deeks and Kensi both nodded their heads at him and watched as the senior agents walked away, talking to LAPD about what had happened. Deeks turned to Kensi, waiting for her to look at him.

"So, you ready to blow this popsicle stand?" Kenso smiled at him, nodding her head. "In that case, how about my place, burgers and ice packs?"

"Sounds good to me. Really good."

The both knew that after tonight, the nights ahead of them would be long and filled with new nightmares. But they had each overcome some personal demons they had been fighting, only this time, instead of alone they had slain them _together_. The light of the new days ahead were starting to shine a little brighter, the hope of good times finally overtaking the bad.

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_AN - okay, this chapter makes me nervous. I hope you all enjoyed it, and I would love to hear your thoughts on it, good or bad...but hopefully good?_


	5. Chapter 5

_There aren't enough words, so I'll just say thank you to justareader07 for looking it over and letting me know it wasn't too cheesy haha. Hope y'all like it._

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Deeks laid in bed, his partner giving off small snorts next to him. The last twelve hours had tested their limits, each of them coming face to face with their nightmares and overcoming them together. And while he should have felt relief, it was confusion that clouded his head. He rolled over, facing Kensi and watched as she slept, the bruises on her face becoming more prominent. He knew the physical damage would heal, but he was worried about the emotional. She'd already had one nightmare, but he had quietly chased it away, having now learned how to calm her down without waking her up.

He stroked her hair, causing Kensi to sigh softly before turning towards him, even in her sleep needing to be close to him. He knew it was dangerous, mixing feelings in with their job. But he also knew that trying to deny what was there could make it worse. Right now, he didn't know what to do.

Deeks slid out of bed, heading towards the shower. Being so close to her, wanting to touch her, it wasn't a good idea right now. He needed clear his head. As he stepped under the hot water, he tried to gather his thoughts.

The devil on his shoulder told him he didn't need anyone. He had been on his own most of his life, learning how to depend on himself alone. It wasn't always easy, but it's what he did best. If something happened and he had to go back under for LAPD, he wouldn't need to worry about the woman currently sleeping in his bed. She would be a distraction, his mind always going back to her and wondering how she was. A slip of the tongue could mean his death.

The angel showed up, tsking at him. Of course he had learned how to do things solo, but the past four years had shown him that being alone wasn't always best. He and Kensi worked great together, showing him that while one is good, two is better. There wasn't anything they couldn't do – together. Tonight had shown him that.

The devil tapped him, making sure he remembered it was his past that had gotten them in the mess in the first place. Granger had assigned him to getting info from Monica, and Deeks had done what was necessary as Max Gentry to get it. Sure, things had gone awry when Monica had stolen the diamonds, but in the end it had sorted itself out.

But so many things had come to light that day. Kensi's jealousy, the words they had spoken over comms and the conversation he had heard between Kensi and Monica "_though she doesn't know I heard that little gem,"_ then the note he received from Hetty. _Sunshine and gunpowder._ Even now he could smell it. It was all around him, engulfing him.

As he grabbed the shampoo, the angel was whispering in his ear.

Kensi was his light in the darkness, the only thing that had gotten him through Sidorov. Her smile, her laugh… _everything_. She was the first thing he thought about in the morning and the last thing on his mind at night. She filled the hours in between and visited his dreams. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't she consumed him somehow.

As he turned the water off and dressed, he knew his protests were futile. He needed her like he needed air. He would have been able to live with being partners and friends. It wouldn't have been fun, or easy, but he could have done it if that's the only way he could have her.

As he stepped into the room, his eyes on the beautiful brunette before him, a smile graced his lips for the first time that night. Now, after what seemed like eternity, he realized he was ready for more. Their first night together, neither of them had been prepared for the next day, the consequences of jumping head first into the unknown had thrown them both for a loop. But they had both been to the very depths of hell and had survived. He knew if they left things unsaid and as they stood now, if something happened to them tomorrow they would both have regrets. And Kensi had enough regrets and what if's in her past. He wasn't going to add to it.

Kensi stirred, rolling to her side as her arm stretched out towards his side of the bed. He saw the frown on her face as she realized the sheets were cold. He chuckled quietly, happy in the knowledge that she wanted - _needed_ - him next to her. It reaffirmed his plan to _woo _her. And if she hadn't been sleeping, he would have laughed at his choice of words. He quickly scribbled a note to his partner and left it on his pillow, making sure that she would see it. As he grabbed Monty's leash, he glanced one more time at his sleeping beauty. Yeah, it was definitely time that things changed.

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Kensi's eyes popped open, the smell of Deeks surrounding her but she knew by the coldness of the sheets next to her that he wasn't in bed with her. She sighed, letting her eyes focus and then narrow at the piece of paper on the pillow. She grabbed it, thinking it was going to be Deeks telling her he went surfing and would see her later and that wasn't something she could handle right at this moment, she needed him next to her. Noticing it was still dark outside, she looked at the clock. _5:03am. _

She had noticed his distance after arriving at his apartment last night, and she couldn't blame him. A lot had happened, and they both needed time to stop and think. Would a relationship between them be their demise? If people could read them like an open book without anything actually going on, what would happen if they were together? The doubts were creeping in, and Kensi was hating it. She threw the covers off and headed to the bathroom, where everything around her smelled like _him. _She figured he had taken a shower before heading out… wait, it wouldn't make sense to take a shower before going to surf. She turned and went back to the bed, picking up the discarded note and reading it.

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_Donuts are sweet_

_And just for you_

Breakfast. He was going to get her food. She smiled, the doubts slowly leaving her mind. If he was getting her donuts, it meant he didn't want her to leave. He wanted her to stay. Before she let anything negative ruin this, she dressed and went to the kitchen, starting the coffee and waiting for her boys to return.

Kensi smiled at her internal choice of words. _Her boys_. Monty may live with Deeks, but that dog had always chosen Kensi over his owner when she was around, making Deeks huff and puff in mock indignation, but she had always known he liked it. And Deeks… well, they had always been each others. Partners, friends… more than friends. This strange in-between they were in right now was different, but when had they ever done anything the easy way?

As she sat on the couch, coffee in hand, her heart skipped a beat when she heard the key in the lock. She didn't have time to wonder why she was nervous when the door opened and her shaggy mutt and Monty walked in.

Deeks opened the door, smiling as the smell of coffee hit him, alerting him that Kensi was up. His eyes immediately found hers, sensing the nervousness from her but not commenting on it. Instead, he smiled, unhooking Monty from the leash and setting the sugary treats on the table.

"Good morning, Sunshine. Sleep good?" He already knew the answer to that, but he was trying to put her at ease.

"Uh, yeah, for the most part." Kensi got up off the couch and went to the kitchen, making Deeks a cup of coffee while he fed Monty. It was very domestic and they both knew it, felt it.

"So… donuts huh?" Kensi set his coffee down on the table as she sat, opening the box and seeing all of her favorites laid out before her. She quickly looked up, catching Deeks' eye.

"Deeks -"

"Just… just enjoy them, Kens." He didn't need to say anything else, his eyes talking for him. Their verbal communication may suck sometimes, but they had never had problems with their eyes talking for them.

Kensi smiled as she picked one up and took a bite. She let out a small moan of appreciation and blushed when she locked eyes with her partner once again. Instead of saying anything, she slid the box towards him, offering up the precious donuts that a year ago would have earned him a punch for even looking at.

Deeks narrowed his eyes at her when she pushed the box to him, wondering if there was a trick here.

"What is this? Kensi 'Sweet Tooth' Blye _letting _me have a donut? I'm not about to lose a finger or anything, am I?"

Instead of answering, Kensi grabbed for the box. Deeks saw the move before she made it and immediately put his hand out, grabbing onto her wrist.

"Uh uh, Kens. You offered, it would be rude of me not to take you up on it." He winked at her, his words having more than one meaning now. As he took one of the jelly filled donuts and bit into it, he let out a soft moan as well without realizing it.

"I see I'm not the only one immune to the wicked charms of sugar." She smiled as he just hmm'd in response.

No other words were said while they sat side by side, Kensi eating most of the treats but letting Deeks have another one. While she was finishing them up, he took both cups and refilled them before setting down again next to her.

"How are you doing this morning?" He watched as she swallowed the last bite, taking a sip of coffee before answering. She could tell by his face that more serious conversation was ahead and she braced herself, hoping the donuts weren't a consolation prize.

"I'm better than I thought I would be. Ribs hurt like hell, but they'll heal." She watched him for a second, throwing the questions back at him, because that's what this was about.

"How are you?" She sat back in her chair and watched him, sipping her coffee. She noticed he kept his eyes on hers, taking a deep breath as he gathered his thoughts.

"I'm better than I thought I'd be." She didn't say anything to the mirroring words, just raised an eyebrow at him and tilted her head a little.

"Five hours ago I would have said not good. I uh… I had a lot of conflicting thoughts in my head. So five hours ago? I was convinced that you were right for all these years, that denying our 'thing' and skirting around it was all we were going to be able to do - having the job we do and the feelings we have… it just doesn't mix. Oil and water. And all it was going to do was ruin us in the end. Because without you, Kensi, I can't keep going. So risking that - losing you - that wasn't something I could handle."

His eyes had never left hers, and she put her cup on the table, leaning forward towards him.

"And now?" Her voice was quiet, hoping that his use of past tense meant what she thought it did. Instead of answering her, he glanced at his watch and stood up, putting his hand out to her.

"Come with me." Deeks smiled at her, seeing the confusion in her eyes but immediately put her hand in his. The trust that this showed, the way she didn't say anything or ask any questions, it made his heart soar and he twined their fingers together, walking out the door.

It was a short walk to the beach, the light of the day just barely showing on the horizon. They were quiet on the way, both of them lost in thought. Kensi wanted to, but she didn't question him when instead of sitting on the sand like they normally do, Deeks led her to the edge of the water. The water was fairly calm this morning, the waves gently crashing against the shore.

"This used to be the only constant good thing in my life." Deeks' voice was quiet as he watched the water and he chuckled, shaking his head.

"You know when I realized things had changed, like _really_ changed? It was after Sidorov. I can remember coming here after every beating, every argument, every bad day, every op gone wrong and sometimes just the smell of the ocean was enough to clear my head. It used to help me process what was going on at home, the anger and threats and fists. I may never have understood it, but here, I could be me and not worry about anything. While I was in law school, some buddies and I had come down here to surf one morning and as we were leaving, I stopped a lady from getting robbed. She was about to get in her car and a guy ran up. When I realized what was happening, I ran over and actually tackled him to the ground while she called 911. That was the moment I knew I wanted to be more than a high-falutin attorney. That I could do more."

He smiled at the memory, thankful for every twist and turn and fork in the road that he came across, because every decision had led him to this - to her.

"It seems every major life decision was made here. The effect this place has on me… it's indescribable and it has never let me down. But after Sidorov - I don't know, it's like I couldn't get my mind to stop, no matter what I did. And for the first time that I can remember, this magical place failed me. I was lost and confused and just _so damn tired_, but no matter how many times I came here and tried to find that much needed peace, it alluded me."

Deeks stopped talking for a minute, closing his eyes and feeling the breeze on his face, squeezing Kensi's hand in the process. When he felt the return pressure from her, he opened his eyes again.

"Turns out, my safe haven… it's you, Kens. I didn't know that pushing you away meant the sun would disappear, too. The first ray of sunshine I saw was the night I let you in. You, Kensi, are my light in the darkness. You brought sanity back to me just by simply _being_ there."

Kensi felt tears gathering in her eyes as she laid her head on his shoulder. She wished she didn't, but she understood his words. Deeks was all she had thought about in that cave in Afghanistan after the initial Jack rejection had worn off. And even then, he had been there. During the torture, his words 'your smile, your laugh, everything'… well, it held so much more meaning now, because that's all she had thought about to make it through.

"We have had so much back and forth and uncertainty between us that sometimes it's like there's this huge black hole that's sucking the happiness away right after we get a chance to experience it. I kiss you, and then get captured. We make it through that, have an amazing night together, and you get shipped off around the world. You come home, we find that balance again, and I play right into Angelo's words about three hearts."

Deeks turned, making Kensi look at him instead of the ocean. As much as he enjoyed having her cuddle with him, he needed to look her in the eyes.

"You open up, I back away, and the vicious cycle begins again. It seems that every move forward we have, something comes in and makes us take eight steps back. And I can't do that anymore."

Kensi maintained eye contact, hoping he wasn't able to hear her heart hammering in her chest.

"Then don't." She was giving him a way out if that's what he wanted. Her words could be taken two ways. He could walk away, right now, and while it would hurt at first, they could figure out how to be just partners and friends. Or he could stay - dear God she wanted him to stay - and they could finally figure this thing out.

Deeks stared into her eyes, bringing his free hand up to cup her cheek.

"This is it for me, Kensi. We take this step, that's it. We make it work, or we lose everything. I can't tell you how much that scares the hell out of me, but I want you - _I want _us - to not have any regrets. I don't want there to be any questioning looks at each other and wonder if our words or actions were out of line. Second-guessing and doubts are done. We move forward together."

Kensi had a small smile on her face as she listened to him talk. As she let relief wash over her, she carefully considered her next move.

"About time you and I were on the same page." Deeks threw his head back and laughed as he brought Kensi into his arms, relishing the feeling of holding her like this. He knew then that they would be okay, they would do it right this time. They had started off slow this go around, and now it was time to take the next step.

The sun was just coming up over the horizon, basking them in sunlight as Deeks brought his lips to hers. The new day was beginning, just like they were. It didn't matter what happened or what was going on in their life. As long as the sun came up in the east and set in the west, anything that happened in between could be washed away with the tide. The promise of a new day, every day, would be the constant reminder that they could handle whatever life threw at them.

A few minutes later they made the walk back to the apartment just as they had arrived - hand in hand. Only this time there wasn't questions or doubts or insecurities. Finally, a new day had come that showed the promise of hope and love and finally… happiness.

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_AN - well, that's the last chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed it, and leaving a review would make my day! Thank you SO MUCH for all the reviews, follows and favorites. You guys are absolutely amazing!_


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